Dating
Standard of Conduct
Maintaining
Biblical Principles to Ensure Your Relationship Honors God
It is important that if you are planning on getting into a relationship that you develop your biblical standards of where to draw lines in the relationship, BEFORE it begins. If you are in a relationship, the next thing you should do is write out your standards! Below is a great example of some Biblical Principles on Dating. Your standards will not necessarily be exactly like this, however this is a great pattern to follow! The important thing to remember is to base your standards on Biblical Principles. When you make your standard with your "significant other" print off a copy for each, sign them, and also give a copy to each of your accountability partners. You can download this as a Word Document and make it your own.
and 's Biblical Principles on Dating
Accountability Partner: ____________________________
Principles:
Purity
“For
this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you
abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess
his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion,
like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and
defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in
all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned
you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in
sanctification.” --1 Thessalonians 4:3-7
It
is the will of God that we control ourselves, not like unbelievers,
but honorably, being called to holiness. It is also His will that we
not take advantage of one another.
Speech
“Let
no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as
is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that
it will give grace to those who hear.”
--Ephesians
4:29
Our
speech must not be perverse, profane, or dwell on uncertain future
events (marriage, kids, ect.) but for each others edification. Conduct with one another
“So,
as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a
heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a
complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also
should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect
bond of unity.”
--Colossians 3:12-14
--Colossians 3:12-14
“Do
nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind
regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely
look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests
of others.”
--Philippians 4:3,4
It
is a scriptural command that live out the tender mercies that God
calls us to put on. --Philippians 4:3,4
Philosophy:
Since
it is the
will of God that
we control ourselves and edify one another then
we will live set apart lives, characterized by the tender mercies of
God.
Purpose:
To
bring glory and honor to God in our daily lives, honoring our future
spouses, and regarding one another above ourselves. In all that we
say and do.
Program:
- In Purity Because it is the will of God that we control ourselves in a way worthy of our calling we will…
- Physical contact:
- Will not…
- Kiss before engagement
- Be alone in a house or secluded location
- Share a blanket
- Stay up alone together
- Put my hands around her waist
- Be alone in a car unless someone is waiting for us on the other side
- Do anything that we would be ashamed to do in front of our families
- Can do…
- Hold hands
- Be in a room together with the door open and people outside (not sitting on the same bed, ect.)
- Put heads on shoulders
- Cuddle with EXTREME Caution
- Avoid the appearance of anything sensual
- Have arm around her
- Lean on me (with boundary of avoiding appearance of anything sensual)
- Entertainment:
- We won’t watch anything with excessive language, or sensuality
- We will not listen to anything containing crude or sexual language.
- We will not listen to anything that goes against the principles of God’s word
- Speech Because it is a biblical mandate that our speech should not be perverse but for each others edification we will…
- Verbal
- Not speak in innuendos or in double meanings
- Build eachother up, not tear down (destructive sarcasm)
- Avoid talking unnecessarily about uncertain future events. (Knowing the difference between being prepared and gratifying our own desires)
- Non-verbal
- Consider each other’s feelings
- Look out for the other person’s interest, not for personal gain
- Conduct with one another Because God has commanded us to live out the tender mercies that He called us to put on we will…
- Never hold a grudge
- Always be open and willing to talk
- Not leave when angry
- Set aside time to talk
- Always ready to forgive
- Be patient with one another, not always having to be right, willing to admit faults
- Put school/work/ministry responsibilities above relationship
- Make time for fun things:
- Playing games
- Playing Guitar
- Etc.
- Spiritual Life
- We will both maintain a daily quiet time
- We will pray together and share burdens and concerns
- We will faithfully attend a church
- We will put ministry above our relationship
- Accountability
- We will each be accountable to:
- One person of the same sex
- Our parents
- A discipler
- Each will have a copy of our biblical principles, and will keep eachother accountable.
- Each other
- Being cautious of becoming too dependent on each other
- This accountability will extend to:
- Quiet time
- Prayer life
- Self- image
Download in Word Format:
Dating
Standard
of Conduct.doc